کچھ قصے کچھ یادیں کچھ فسانے

Memories

Years back
Still remember that day
The first glimpse
The black dress
That little fish
Don’t know whether it was the time, place or environment or she herself
I was stuck, I was fascinated
Second time, same day, the far-off ground, walking with that tall boy
At that night, I was happy, lost in the fascination
Days passed, knew the name
Seen her many times
Accompanied by pointer, that tall one
Did not understand!
Actually deceived myself
Friends noticed the change inside me
Clever enough, judged everything
Many advices, many ways
But I was new, not exposed
A bit coward, yes, I admit
What to say, How to say
But didn’t realize at that time
That body has its own language
And the feelings have their own tongue
Don’t express your feelings, let them speak
And I didn’t need to say a word
She knew each and every thing
Actually, it was written on my face
And she was not blind
Time was running fast
And her desire shaped a deep routed tree inside me
Jeering remarks of my friends
“yeh to ek aaam se larki hai”
“ranay mard bun”
It was a fun for them
But meant a lot to me
And
One day
Outside the cafeteria
She was looking towards pointer
read her eyes
seen a deep ocean of affection with roaring voices
All of my dreams went away
It was painful
But I receded from all of my plans
Didn’t want to disturb them
For just myself
Many nights, I couldn’t sleep
Grades came to B,B-,and even C
One fine night, analyzed myself
“What I want?” the main question
Need her as a woman?
Tried to remember below her face, nothing appeared
Need her to be with me?
“Yes! But she is with me when I am alone”
Need to be accepted by her?
“No! Just concerned about myself”
realized that my soul has a connection with her soul
materialistic relations are among bodies
souls are independent of them
After that night
A calm and peace prevailed in my life
Grades went to A- :)
And she respected my feelings
Nice and kind-hearted little doll
Just wanted, holding her hand, jerking her nose
In the moments of despair
She enlightens my inner darkness
And
I am
I am all for her